The first step is to
figure out what that means to you--and not anyone else.
Are you happy with your
life as it is?
If the answer is no, are
you willing to make changes--even big, scary ones--in order to get there?
That question comes from
Becky Lynn Smith, author of Designing Your Ideal Life: Create Your Blueprint for Success and
Happiness.
Smith knows something
about big, scary changes. Married right out of high school, she went from being
a bank cashier to becoming a programmer and then a project manager, roles
that led her to executive positions in Exxon, BP Amoco, and AIM Management Group.
Then she quit to become a
self-employed business coach. After two years of that, she decided to make
another major change, and now she's a doctoral student in leadership and
organizational development at Grand Canyon University.
She wrote the book, she says,
because it was what she needed but didn't have. "I didn't have a plan when
I started out," Smith says, "and many people don't have a
plan."
If you want to create your
own plan, start by asking yourself these questions:
1. What do I need to
change in order to be happy?
"First, you have to
decide that you will be happy," Smith says. "Some people aren't
happy, but they're kind of comfortable."
She learned this firsthand
when she left her executive position to strike out on her own, and several of
her colleagues told her privately that they wished they could do the same.
"Even if you're in a
situation where you can't make a big change, make little changes to set that up
for later," says Smith. "What do I need to do to make a career
change? If I need to go back to school, what school can I go to?" Whatever
it is, get crystal clear on the specific things you need to do, she says.
2. Is my health where I
want it to be?
"To me, health is
fundamental," Smith says. "If you don't have good health, you have
few options. Most of us have some habit we probably should change
3. How much money do I
need?
"You have to take a
look at how you want your money to
be, because it does not buy happiness," Smith says. "How much money
do you need to be happy? Or are you satisfied with just enough?"
4. Are my relationships
going well?
"Those are what make
life worth living," Smith says. "I work with a lot of business owners
who basically were sacrificing their home lives to their businesses.
Honestly, your career should support your life and not the other way
around."
5. How am I making the
world better?
This is a key to
happiness, Smith says. "It's about doing something meaningful for other
people," Smith says. "We need to look for how we can make the world a better place, at least our little
piece of it."
6. Am I spending my time
on what I value most?
"How we spend the 24
hours a day we're given basically makes the difference between a happy or
unhappy life," Smith says. "Many people don't know how to prioritize
their time. You have to figure out what your vision is
and create your plan, and then ask what are the things you're doing every day
to make that plan come true."
7. What am I grateful for?
"We don't have enough
gratitude in the world," Smith says. "I start every day thankful that
I have another day. Are you grateful for the things you have?" It turns
out, taking the time to be grateful will actually make you happier. Here's why.
8. How do I connect with
the spiritual in my life?
Smith herself is a
Christian, although she doesn't discuss her religion in her book. But whatever
your religion, or even if you're not religious, it's important to feel connected to something larger than yourself, Smith
says. "You have to believe in something," she says. "It keeps us
grounded to have a higher purpose in life."
9. Am I happy with my
career?
"Once you have those
other areas of your life figured out, you can ask what career will support
that," Smith says. "My values are
around loyalty and freedom--freedom is a big deal for me right now, so I
certainly better not have a business like a fast food restaurant that would
require me to be there 18 hours a day."
10. Am I living the life I
chose for myself--or is it someone else's ideal?
"My best advice is
really about living your own life, not someone else's version of your
life," Smith says. "You need to be really sure what's important to
you before embarking on a path. Give yourself permission to explore."
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